Monday, December 28, 2009

life threads

To unravel into pieces
A tapestry becoming so undone
Shattered glass just seems so unrepairable
Something perishable in the sun

Holding on fast to the core
Honest, pure, and true
Sharing bits and pieces of the threads
That is solely me through and through

Inflicting pain not intended
Just open for any to stop and stare
This is life, raw as ever
And it was my choice to share

To tear down what something is made of
Seems so disastrous at first glimpse
But the beauty in the breakdown
Is about truely finding what's within

7 comments:

  1. "Hey", Just wanted to say that...

    Decided to do a Blog myself.

    Dad

    http://painunlimited.blogspot.com/?spref=fb

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  2. I absolutely love this ! I love the theme of it, and the whole message it's expressing. =]

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  3. POETRY REVIEW

    This piece tops the rest, and that's saying something. You've moved from unbridled catharsis to a more controlled, yet no less powerful, kind of expression. What makes this verse so strong is its specificity. I like the weighting of concreteness and personal commentary. You only have two self-referential lines: "That is solely me through and through" (8) and "It was my choice to share" (12). The rest of the poem/post is grounded in clear details and ideas. Paradoxically, this makes the writing feel more real and intense than your other stuff. By leading with physicality, you actually make me visualize the "beauty in the breakdown" -- what, no props to Imogen Heap? Even the looser rhyme scheme (abcb) suggests an evolution. You work well with form but shouldn't constrict yourself too much -- see "Whitman, Walt" in your nearest anthology. Diaries and journals are places for mental release. Blogs can be as well, but they are also instant self-publishing vehicles. I know you'll keep driving fast with the top down. I look forward to seeing you handle future hairpin turns with this same level of skill.

    MAJOR ADVICE

    I'm biased because I'm a writer (Bachelor's in English, finishing a Master's in Creative Writing; working on a novel for my thesis, also write stories and poetry). However, I second Felicity's recommendation that you major in something having to do with writing. Sometimes it takes people with an outside perspective to point out the obvious. It could just be that you like to write in your journal and post lyrical reflections to your blog. More likely, the universe, God, Allah, fate, chance, string theory, etc. -- I'm spiritual but agnostic -- are telling you that you have a gift that gives to you and others. Studying the classics, old and new, and having kindred souls read and comment in a constructively critical way on your writing will do wonders for your self-awareness, enlightenment, and, believe it or not, confidence. ... If you still want to be a vet, I think you'll probably kick butt at that, too! ;)

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  4. I love "This is life, raw as ever." That rings true to me and probably millions of people.

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  5. I also had trouble figuring out what I wanted to "do." But I knew I needed SOME type of degree so I ended up majoring in Liberal Arts. I don't know if your school offers a degree like mine (University of Arkansas at Little Rock) but basically you pick three disciplines or concentrations to focus on. UALR offers all kinds of concentrations but the three I picked were psychology, sociology, and health science. UALR also offers an online BALA (Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Arts) degree which is what I did because basically I just hated going to class. So I did it online and it gave me freedom to pursue several different areas of interest. So, just a thought.

    Loving you on RW. I know it's gotta be weird to all of a sudden be in the spotlight. I am a life-long friend of the most recent American Idol winner and it's been plain WEIRD to have him go from a small town guy to living a very public life. And weird the people that come out of the woodworks and want to know know me (and grill me about him) just because I know him. People are strange. Try not to let it get to you. You seem like a strong, very grounded girl who is obviously going to do great things with her life.

    Best wishes,
    Melissa

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  6. You talk about fearing commitment and I thought this quote might hit home for you...I speak as an equally wandering 20 something, trying to figure out what to pursue in life...

    "The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life." -Anne Morriss

    Here's a photograph of it:
    http://www.corialexander.com/Portfolio/BWSepia/10825385_Pny6W#754951144_2oJuf

    -Cori

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