thrill.

I wonder some days how I got here.
I wasn't always so fearless.
It is in my nature to force myself to be brave, to not hold back even when everything in me screams to.
I am not invincible or untouchable
and my body is breakable...
But I refuse to believe it
Even saying it now makes me cringe
For when I know in my heart nothing can stop me,
nothing can.
And that feeling of freedom
Of being invincible, even when I know I for damn sure am not,
I am convinced is why my heart continues to beat.
I crave to be scared so I can defeat it.
When my heart beats faster, I feel close to home.

Living is a thrill,
It is about time you joined the ride.

my reason for existence....

If I didn't have something to fight against
Would I even exist
If I didn't need to make a point
What would be left to resist

My battle isn't within me
It is fighting for something much more
It is changing the path most follow
Forcing other's to question their war

It is pushing the limit to the max
Jumping the fence one last time
Making a move not usually seen
Solely craving to cross that line

It's a fight that may only end up hurting
All that I know to be true
But do I know myself through any other
Do I know how else one has grew?

So I push and I shove and I constantly fight
Regardless of what the outcome may be
This constant struggle that makes my heart thrive
Is the only way I know to be me

Unsettled

What is it that I am holding inside
I feel anxious
As life in its ocean surrounds me
My toe is barely in
I am missing out
The world is there, so close.
I want to experience it
I want to hold it
I want to feel it
I need to embrace everything it has
My bucket list is endless
And I am wasting time.

I talk about the world as if I've seen it
I dream nightly
of dancing in Uganda to the beat of drums
And surfing on the beaches of Brasil
Speaking to people in tongues unheard
Holding hands of those with colors I've not yet seen
Touching the mountains impossible to find...

I talk of things I have not seen
I wish upon words that seem so far away
When can I
Will when I
How can I
Will I ever be able to...
Finally
Live.

Rythmic Souls

There is something about your soul
that speaks to mine.
I crave the chaos
but with you I find
The eye of the storm that never changes
with time.
And in that peace I wonder, in what life
did our stars align
Did ever the rhythm of your heartbeat
coincide with mine?
Because in this second I am beginning
to slowly... unwind.
It seems that at one time
together we shined.
Past, present, or future...
Baby I will never mind
This thirst you are quenching means you are
of another kind.

So touch.
Heal.
Soothe.
Quench.

Because there is something about your soul
that speaks to mine.

Atmosphere Adjustment

I'm here.

Whole and complete

Unshattered, in one piece

Spontaneous, overwhelmed

Slow back to

moving

Familiar sounds only my heartbeat

soothing

I'm not battered

Nor I bruised

My senses are merely striving

To not be confused

My organs in place

Just learning to utilize

From my brain to my lungs

My toes to my eyes

Re-using my body bit by bit

It's not coming back to me,

I'm coming back to it

So please, don't mind me...

I'm just learning how to breathe again

.........freely.

i feel invincible

The water crashes on the shore
The tides are changing more and more
But here I stand strong and true
Knowing exactly what to do
My salted hair begins to curl
As all my doubts start to unfurl
I spread my hands wide and high
I am fully naked under this sky
My doubts, my cautions, no longer exist
Because with that comes life I refuse to miss
I am in the moment, I begin to thrive
All in fruit of my inner drive
This is my life in all its beauty
Living it fully is solely my duty
The waves can crash and try to break me
But my body alone is enough safety
I trust the feet I stand on today
Because who knows tomorrow what will go away
Let the ocean hold me as I make my stance
For today is the day I take that chance

Wild at Heart

“A prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages…” Tennessee Williams

Cages of loneliness, depression, institutions… Cages that restrict a beautiful being from living. Some, or most, can pinpoint the cages in our lives, put there by others. But more importantly, what about the ones put by ourselves? What cage have I restricted myself with? What cage have we all restricted ourselves with?

It is easy to blame others for something negative we feel in ourselves; I am a certain way because of my past, naturally, but it is what we do with the “certain way we are” that shows character and strength. In many ways our past can become a cage… Until we can own up to ourselves and our flaws, regardless of origin, we will continue to be restricted and deprived of all the amazing things life has to offer.

I fear most that I will find something about myself that I cannot come to terms with. What if I am afraid to face something within? What is my cage?

"Wild at heart". I am more than that. I am wild at heart, at soul, at the bottom of my being. We all are meant to live fearless, cage-less lives.

Bar me up and see what happens, but if it is myself that created the cage, I feel that is when I have lost my heart, my soul, myself.

The damage is done when we are the ones who cage ourselves.